Crossing the border
by nice-one and smile1 UNITED
Summary: BuffyAngel crossover. (with a lil' Spike!) One Parter. Buffy finds herself doubting herself and her destiny. But luckily a dark stranger will try to set her straight. PLZ REVIEW!


*Disclaimer: This show belong to the WB and we don't own the original plot or the characters.  
  
*A/N: Hey! :-) I know that we both have been busy lately, but unfortunately school's to blame for that. However we decided to write a one parter together. So, I hope you appreciate this chapter, cause it's hard working together on one chapter since we both have two different writing styles, but we think it works, right Stef ? (She agrees with me.) Enjoy! smile1 :-)  
  
Hey! Well, I don't really know what to say since she pretty much said everything already,so...Enjoy the story, dude! nice-one  
  
*~*~*:-)*~*  
  
Buffy's thoughts felt just as cold to her, as the stone tomb she was sitting on. She had found that patrolling was becoming more of a burden as the days flew by and the nights seemed to die out slower and slower. Every night told the same dark tale. She would wander around the graveyard looking for souls that had just recently been lost and when she had done her duty of sending their spirits into purgatory, she would sit down on one of the many forgotten tombs and carefully analyze her thoughts.  
  
Lately she had been trying to figure out why she was feeling so alone. She couldn't even remember when she went out on a date with a 'normal' guy, for a change. Some times she even doubted the fact that she should date. After all she was the slayer and because of her abnormal life style, she had trouble keeping a relationship going. And she hated it, because she knew that she had been destined to be a slayer, but by being just that, she was also destined to be alone.  
  
When the nights were darker than usual and there were no stars to be seen, she would wonder what it would be like if she hadn't been born, as a slayer. Her life would be much easier. She wouldn't have to carry the weight of the entire world on her shoulders. Maybe then she wouldn't have this feeling of absolute failure inside of her, slowly tugging at her heart, reminding her that it was there, it always was. She tried to remember how she had felt without it, when she had been happy. Back at Sunnydale High she had been happy. After all she had met Xander and Willow because of her secret and now they were the best of friends. Sometimes she even found herself wondering if they only liked her, because she was always there to protect them. It was an obscure thought, but she still couldn't stop it from crossing her mind every now and then.  
  
Buffy sighed and looked up at the moon. Even the moon, which she had loved so much when she was little, especially when she had heard about the man on the moon, held bad memories for her. The worst things always happened underneath the full moon. Vampires awakened, werewolves wandered about and demons crawled up to the surface. Because of that, she was willingly forced to spend most of her night upon the cold and lifeless tombs of the dead that had yet to awaken. She had detached herself so much from the normal world, that she wasn't even sure if she could find her way back.  
  
Suddenly she felt something cold touch the skin of her neck and before she could react it had wrapped its lifeless fingers around her neck, choking her, making it harder for her to scream. As the air left her lungs, she knew that she wouldn't have the strength to fight back. It would fit her history perfect, she would die by a bite of a vampire. But before she could go on with her thoughts, she heard footsteps behind her and within a few unsuspected seconds, the fingers released their grip and flew back, as if someone had pulled the creature back. Buffy quickly turned around, just in time to see the vampire turn in to dust.  
  
As the dust slowly fluttered to the ground, the dark yet pleasant features of yet another creature became visible.  
  
"Angel," was all she could say when she recognized him.  
  
He looked at her with a worried look on his face.  
  
"Are you okay?" he asked.  
  
Buffy still didn't really realize that it really was Angel standing in front of her. For a couple of seconds she just looked at him, then she realized he had asked her a question. She slowly brought her right hand to her neck and touched it. His appearance had surprised her so much that she almost forgot that he just saved her. Her neck was okay, but she was still trying to catch her breath. Angel was still looking at her, waiting for her to answer. She wanted to open her mouth and answer his question, but instead she just nodded. Angel stepped forward and removed her right hand from her neck so he could look at it. When she felt his hand on her arm, a weird feeling went through her body. She looked up at him and saw the worried expression on his face.  
  
"It's nothing. I'll be fine," she tried to reassure him.  
  
Angel nodded and for a moment they looked at each other. Buffy couldn't describe what she was feeling right now. It was so weird to have him standing in front of her like this.  
  
"Thank you........for saving me, I mean"  
  
"Don't worry about it"  
  
"It's a good thing you were here, otherwise.......What are you doing here anyway?" she quickly asked, not wanting to finish the sentence she started.  
  
"I need to....get something out of the museum. We need it for a case we're working on"  
  
"Could you be any more vague?" Buffy asked, not really meaning it. She knew Angel wasn't the most talkative person and that he liked keeping things to himself. Angel smiled.  
  
"It's some sort of ancient book that could be useful solving a case. Wesley asked me to go get it for him"  
  
"And save your ex-girlfriend the Slayer from getting killed by a vampire while doing it?"  
  
"No, that's something even Wesley couldn't have predicted."  
  
Buffy knew that he thought it was strange that she hadn't heard the vampire. That was nothing like her. It had never happened to her before. No matter how distracted she was, she always knew it when a vampire was around. She was afraid that he expected her to explain to him what was wrong, but she didn't want to tell him. She didn't want to bug him with her problems.  
  
"So,......how's life in L.A?"  
  
"Hectic"  
  
"And Cordy?"  
  
"Is fine"  
  
"Wesley?"  
  
"Is still Wesley"  
  
"Good"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
Buffy sighed. This conversation was very uncomfortable. She knew that she owed him an explanation and that he was waiting for it.  
  
"Look.....you probably wanna know...," she started.  
  
"Yes, I do wanna know. That vampire came very close to killing you. If I hadn't...."  
  
"I know," she interrupted him.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"I was just.....thinking"  
  
"Thinking?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"About what?"  
  
Buffy broke their eye contact for a few seconds, trying to regain the confidence that she was so well-known for. But when she returned her gaze to Angel, her sadness was mirrored in his eyes, she knew that she wouldn't be able to wrap her story up in a cocoon of lies.  
  
''I've been......well, basically I have been doubting myself.'' She paused for a moment, trying to form a sentence in her head that wouldn't sound so sad and desperate, but the longer she tried, the more she got caught up in a maze of words.  
  
''I mean, where am I going with my life ? I know I have friends that care for me, but most of the times I just feel.......I just feel alone. And then there's the small fact that I didn't go to college, so a normal and decent job has practically become a foreign language to me.''  
  
''I didn't study to become a lawyer either, and look where it brought me. I get to safe people every day and I go to bed with a clean conscience,'' Angel said. And though there were a lot of hidden emotions slipping through the creaks in his sentence, he remained neutral on the edges.  
  
''Yeah, sure, rewarding......minus the big sum of cash.''  
  
A small and already fading smile was prying it's way onto Angel's face, but was lost instantly when Buffy continued.  
  
''Being a slayer.....,'' Buffy said, her eyes darting to the unopened graves that were scattered across this cemetery. ''.......it got old and tiring a long time ago.''  
  
''I know what you mean, right after the world ended for the second time,'' Angel commented dryly, not aware of the humor that crossed his lines every now and then.  
  
Buffy intently focused her eyes on him as she asked her next question. ''How come you aren't tired of having a soul. It's not as spectacular as you expected, I'm sure.''  
  
Angel shrugged, anchoring his eyes to Buffy's , knowing that she was trying to make him upset, wanting to share her pain with someone, since no one back home would understand or know what to do about it.  
  
''It's the price I pay for all those lives that were lost, because of me. For all that blood that was spilled.''  
  
''See, you do have a goal,'' Buffy pointed out.  
  
''And so do you,'' Angel countered. ''What if you hadn't been a slayer ? You wouldn't have found Dawn.''  
  
Buffy nodded and lowered her head, causing her thoughts to wash over her, her memory over flooding. But out of all the other possible answers that spilled over her, one stayed with her. As she looked back up, she spoke the enigmatic words that secretly held her answer.  
  
''I wouldn't have found you.''  
  
''Actually, if I remember correctly I found you.''  
  
A small smile touched her face, as lightly as a feather, causing it to shift into a silly grin. One that she couldn't make appear whenever she wanted. It only seemed to happen when he was around to take some of the weight of her shoulders and give her the opportunity to breathe.  
  
As if destiny had whispered it's riddle-like commands in the air around them, both of them took a step forwards, closing the rest of the meaningless space between them. Although Angel was the one who leaned in and kissed Buffy, leaving her with no other option but to return the more than friendly favor. Like some of their kisses, this one held no promises for the future and yet it held no bad blood of the past either. It was just his way of showing her that he was there for her and her way to show that, even though she needed it, she would be too stubborn to ask him to stay and help her. And when they broke their kiss, they knew that it had just been a moment of vulnerability and that nothing would ever come out of it.  
  
For what seemed like ages, they stood in front of each other. Buffy was staring at the ground, but she was afraid to look up to see if he was doing the same. Eventually she figured they couldn't spend their whole night standing here, she looked up, only to find him staring at her too.  
  
"I should probably go and get the book to Wess," Angel softly said.  
  
Buffy nodded. Angel brought up his hand up to her cheek, but lowered his hand again right before he could touch her warm skin. They looked at each other once more, then Angel turned around and left. Buffy didn't want to see him leave, so she stared at the ground again. After about thirty seconds she felt the urge to look up again, so she did. Less than three feet away from her she suddenly noticed another familiar figure. His eyes were focused on her and to see him standing there caught Buffy by surprise. She looked back at him and immediately noticed the sad look in his eyes. Buffy didn't know what to do or what to say. It was obvious that Spike had seen her with Angel. She opened her mouth to say something. She didn't even know what she wanted to say to him, but he didn't even give her a chance.  
  
"Feeling a little guilty, love?"  
  
"Spike...," she started.  
  
For a second it seemed as if he was waiting for her to continue. Like he expected her to say something that would make everything right again. But she didn't continue. She just looked at him. She thought about things to say, but everything just sounded wrong, so she decided not to say anything. She saw how Spike narrowed his eyes, then he turned around and disappeared into the night.  
  
Buffy reached for her stake, that had lain aimlessly on the tomb all this time and sat back down, her guard up this time. She knew that Angel was right. Saving people was a great feeling, but it was becoming less and less powerful with every person she 'protected'. What would happen if one night she wouldn't have that anymore. Was that all she had to lean on after all ? Buffy shook her head, but couldn't erase the main question all of this brought up in her. Would helping all these people eventually be worth it ? Would her loneliness have been worth it ?  
  
*R*E*V*I*E*W! Please ? :-)  
  
smile1: So, what do you think ? Did they like it or........?  
  
nice-one: Of course they liked it! David Boreanaz is in it! Duh!  
  
smile1: Riiiight...... I think I'm sticking with Gilmore Girls from now on.  
  
nice-one: Whatever! This is taking too long anyway 


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